I'm standing in the way of control

The Gossip - Standing in the way of control

Your back's against the wall
There's no-one home to call
You're forgetting who you are
You can't stop crying
It's part not giving in
And part trusting your friends
You do it all again
And I'm not lying

Standing in the way of control
You live your life
Survive the only way that you know

I'm doing this for you
Because it's easier to lose
And it's hard to face the truth
When you think you're dying
It's part not giving in
And part trusting your friends
You do it all again
But you don't stop trying

0106 Hours

hahaha... it's been AGES since i've written anything here. i highly doubt there would be any of my friends reading here since most of them know that i've shifted back to xanga.
re-reading the previous entry is hilarious! i feel like a complete loser for writting such lame entries. just and update: I LOVE COLLEGE NOW! (haha, since i've been venting out how i hated that place in previous entries!)

anyway.... i've shifted. check out my xanga page

http://www.xanga.com/nadia_mk

trust me, the site is prettier than this plain fart!

2021 Hours

Third week of college and my complaints are getting lesser and lesser. A good thing though since i was a bitter hard pill for during the first week. Friends are okay. I guess the previous entry was a way to vent out everything that was on a negative side. i was pms-ing. what can you expect from a hormanial challenged 17 year old. things are better. i'm begining to let myself out little by little each day. i had to admit i wasn't myself the few days before. a little toned down since i had no one to talk to about real shit. real shit meaning the deep stuff. well i still don't ramble to my friends about past relationships and yada yada yada... at least not yet...

end of week to has led to my new fix. no it's not chocolate or coffee... ciggs are probably my new best friend at the time of need. no, i'm not an addict. merely a user and an abuser. i smoke my problems away... in this case a lack of problems. sigh... smoking=bad... i know... i swear i'll never be a chain... it's been less than 10 sticks in 5 days... not bad right? =)

i realized that people who caught my eye on orientation day became my friends... haha. yesterday we were talking about our first day of college... i should say things were rather interesting... hehehe... hmmm... although, one KL, blonde haired hottie... =) smiles all the way baby!!!

1228 Hours

I have been busy with college stuff... shopping and fitting in mostly. unlike most people i know, i don't really find college very fun and exciting. it's just... college. perhaps it's because i'm beginning to see many cliques forming before my eyes. newbies making newby friends. while i'm just someone who know mostly everyone in my class but still allows myself to be a loner once in a while. i guess i miss school. the people who are my friends. college is different than freaking high school!

i guess i can never run from cute-sy wannabe bitches who loves to keep people busy. or weirdos gaining your attention. even crazy whores.... sigh.. this is gonna get interesting... reallly

1010 Hours

were we ever created to be so evil? did god make us humans much more superior to the rest of His beings? who are we to destroy and make everything ours? do the rest of the creatures deserve the right to suffer just to satisfy our population of humans? if everything can talk, can feel and has a voice to speak out, we humans would be in deep shit! late nights when i can't sleep, I sit in front of the tv and flick flick flick until i see something that catches my eye. well a few nights ago i did. and my discovery made me dumbfounded and i shed a few tears watching. i never was fond of the countries north of asia. it has nothing to do with racism or prejudice. it's the way this uneducated beings hurt one other just to satisfy their desire for that moment. i am not stereotyping them by what a few people did. but somehow it's hard not to especially after hearing many things about it. that night i watched in horror how some people could slay dogs and actually eat them. i watched a dead dog getting it's skin removed and it's tail sliced off for it's meat. it's eyes were open and obviously covered in blood. and then i saw people savouring a meal with the most of the dishes consisted of dog meat cooked in various ways.... what the fuck is going on here?
can you imagine eating your own pet?
imagine eating dog meat while you actually own a dog at home?
what is the pride in that?

what is with the slaying? aren't there enough to eat on this planet for people to do such things?
i have pride to not eat any eotic animals whatsoever. not even sharks fin soup... how many sharks would have to die just to get it's fin? who eats this type of food?? you tell me...

my stand in this is strong. i feel that it is only fair if humans were treated the same... those who were cruel to animals would then suffer the same way. an eye for an eye....

a humanskin handbag with a matching wallet
human meat cooked in different ways
human bones made into jewelry
human fat to replace grease
body parts chopped up for different purposes...

imagine that... the hunter being hunted...

fight ignorance!

1442 Hours

FINALLY!!!!! finally i tell ya!!! finally watched tristan & isolde in the morning after months of waiting... hehe. never thought it came out but it did! yay! i loved it!!!!!!! but it would had been fun if i watched it with someone instaed of myself just like that day watching final destination 3. james is so so FINE!!! even the guy who played melot is HOT! HAHAHAHAHA... although i couldn't shriek or yell in the cinema you could tell i was pleased!!! yes i was!

another awesome news... i called the fucked up boys' school and the assistant said i could call the cops when i see students "lepaking" near the train station. yes!!!!!!!! :)

i am tres tres pleased!!!!

hmmmm another well off day....

1029 Hours

i'm still thinking if i should go out right now to go watch casanova or not.... hmmmmm... it's so hard!! firstly i'm kinda lazy to go walk there. second, i'll be watching it alone. third, well... i'm broke. with only 40 bucks in my pocket... allowance isn't in yet. bummer! forgotten to ask. sigh. it's too tempting and excruciating walking around a mall with 40 bucks... i'll decide sooner or later if i should go or not. "to go or not to go, that is the question..."

ooooh, there's something bummerific with maxis... or probably it's just my phone losing touch. sigh... so now my communication skills are lacking of text messages and some other stuff i dunno... sigh... babi babi! why can't we use fire like the old days??? (coz by the time it's 1910 the earth would be naked!) i dunno why i'm rambling... shit!